Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Contract vs. Covenant

Have you ever noticed there is a difference in how marriage is viewed? To some marriage is viewed as a contract. Others view it as a covenant. A contract is a binding relationship between two or more parties for the express purpose of meeting a mutual objective for a specific period of time (i.e. purchasing a car).  If indeed the contract is broken, there may be legal consequences for not abiding to what you agreed to in the first place. To illustrate, let's think about purchasing the car. If a person fails to pay for the vehicle, the car will be repossessed and that person will have a mark against him on his credit history.

A covenant is quite a different story. The best illustration of a covenant relationship is marriage. Here's why. Whereas the contract established the relationship for a specific period of time,  the covenant is an on-going  relationship. Whereas in a contract the two people are concerned with what each will get out of the arrangement, a covenant has a unique perspective. A covenant relationship takes the assets and deficits of both parties, and they are shared equally. Whereas in  contract the objective is approached in terms of what do I get out of this, the covenant, on the other hand, has the primary objective of serving the other person.

Marriage, as God has designed, is a covenant relationship contingent upon what do I have to bring to the relationship to edify my life mate.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Two Types of Love

Today as never before it seems we are acutely aware of disposable things. That tendency seems to have effected many married couples as they fail to grasp the difference between phileo love and  agape love. Phileo love is love that is contingent upon emotions. The “warm fuzzies”, for lack of better term keynotes this designation of love. Phileo love is the type that says “I will  be kind to you, if you are kind to me”. However, since it is a self-oriented, feeling based love, if one receives negative feedback, then negative feedback  is returned. Agape love, on the other hand, is quite different. Some have described it as colorless, irritating, and is quite frankly annoying. Why? Because agape love cares for the other person, even if when is not returned. Agape love lays the gauntlet down of doing an act of love, even when  he/she may not appreciate it. That is  tough stuff. I t seems to  be  what is spoken of in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. A healthy marriage has a foundation of agape love which allows for a generous supply of phileo.


What do you think?