Treating With Respect

Marriage is indeed an adventure. Two very different people are brought into a covenant relationship to spend the rest of their lives trying to figure each other out. For some it becomes an exciting journey; for others the union becomes a continual source of frustration and negative feedback. Only after the ceremony that has taken months to plan does a couple begin to realize how little is known about the other person.

As time goes by close,intimate details are shared with the other person. As care and sensitivity is experienced, more sharing and risking is taken. Such higher levels of communication, when in the milieu of love and trust, aids in marriages that flourish.
In the keepsake of loving couple are treasures of memories past and present.

For some people, the lack of mutual respect is a common reality. In-depth sharing may be met with sarcasm or vicious retorts which is sure to offend and detract from any further revelation, at least temporarily. When negative feedback becomes more routine and deteriorates to one or two word answers, an impenetrable communication wall may be established. Usually the perpetrators of building such a monument of isolation is borne by husbands. Yet, there are more than a few ladies who lack tact and diplomacy when communicating with their mates.

Sometimes our mates need to share a concern with us. That's OK. For example, I have a bad habit of getting ready to leave the house without checking my pant legs. Usually one or both are caught up in my socks and I am oblivious to this fashion offense. My wife, Audrey, is well aware of this foible. Although she has teased me about it, Audrey has never used it to lampoon or represent me as a buffoon, particularly in public.

Such is not the case with a myriad of wives and husbands who have a warped idea that biting sarcasm is a great "motivator" or wounding your life mate is "humorous". Making a public spectacle of your mate in reality labels the instigator as an unloving and an uncaring person, even if the incident were totally out of character for the one making the remark.

Examples are endless.

If this devastating game is played by both partners,in no time the nastiness gets racheted up - sending salvos to do real damage in the "enemy's camp".
You get the drift. And cuts and comments get more personal and meaner depending upon the level of frustration and unforgiveness. Imagine the impact this has on the immediate audience - the children.

If the term of gentleness were employed on all levels of marital communication, more homes would experience more peace as opposed to routine chaos. Imagine what would happen if biblical gentlenss were employed in your home? Gentleness, in the New Testament, is an understanding of acting with humility, and addressing concerns in a way that draws people together. (Complete Biblical Library: Pi - Rho, pgs. 280-281.) What a great concept for adding to your communication arsenal!

Thought: Solomon really had it right. "A gentle answer turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1, NASB).