Playing wth Fire

In Proverbs 6:27-29 we read:
"Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?
So is he who sleeps with another man's wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished" (NASB).

Affairs are one of the most tragic things I have ever encountered as a counselor. Adultery wounds the unsuspecting spouse, the children, sometimes close friends, and often the people involved in the affair unless their consciences have been seared. The media may play into the intrigue and the glamor of a secret tryst. The truth is adulterous affairs cause a great deal of collateral damage.

Have you ever wondered how affairs begin? In an online article entitled "Protecting Your Marriage" (http://www.wisdomforliving.com/wisecounsel/protectingyourmarriagefromadultery.html)
the author offers seven reasons that seem to fit why married people get entangled into affairs.

1. A series of choices - Be careful of your choices that they are ones that truly honor God. For some people that is a problem as their hearts are filled with duplicity.

2. Feeding an unholy attraction - God has wired us in such a way to recognize and respond to flirting and physical attraction. If flirting is directed at our mates, that's wonderful. When we sense that a member of the opposite sex, who is not our mate, is flirting with us, nothing good will occur if we respond to the lure.

3. Playing with thoughts - If we don't control our thought life, our actions will soon follow. Adulterous thoughts can lead to making our thoughts a reality.

4. Not dealing with your lust - Live in a way that relies upon God's power in your life - not your own power (See Romans 7:18).

5. Denying the voice of conscience - When we fail to heed to the warming signs of a conscience letting us know we are about to fall into sin, the conscience can become desensitized. [The conscience in this context is the counsel of the Holy Spirit.]

6. Believing lies - An adulterous affair is not about love, but of selfish lust. The deception continues by the mistaken belief that the adulterers will never be found out. But the writer brings out the biblical reality: "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap" (NASB).

7. Unmet personal needs - One of the reasons a person becomes a prime candidate for an affair is that their spouse has not met their needs in some way - spiritually, emotionally, or physically.

Final thought: If you find that any or all of the steps that lead to an affair applies to the relationship to your spouse, your next step should be seeking the assistance of a Christian counselor.