Unequally Joined

More than a few married couples are unequally joined in their sacred union. In other words, one is a believer, and the other one is not. After all, the Scripture does point out the dissimilarity that light has with darkness. Paul says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, NIV).

If we want to understand how a Christ follower could be united with a person who does not share the same faith, we must introduce another concept you may know already. Evangelistic dating. Evangelistic dating is when a male or female Christ follower is attracted to someone of the opposite sex who is unregenerate. Realizing the relationship would never be approved by one's spiritual mentors, much less the Lord, there is a grave decision to make: abandon any hope of a relationship with this person or be a catalyst for bringing the desired one into a relationship with Christ. On some occasions evangelistic dating actually works, resulting in a great marriage. The outcome is a couple who have unanimity of purpose in relation to their common faith in Christ. Regrettably this type of experience is rare.

A couple may may end up being unequally yoked in marriage by one of several ways: one mate became a believer after the marriage of two unregenerate people; or one mate turned away from the Lord and disavowed his previous declared faith. Perhaps there is a another way. Some may have even been disingenuous by posing as a Christ follower. The conclusion is the same as what happened in the parable of the sower where the seed fell on rocky soil. For a time, the couple seemed to be united on a foundation level, but since the grounding was shallow the walk in Jesus never developed and eventually abandoned. (See Matthew 13:18-23).

There is something else to consider. If the one mate who is either not a believer has become spiritually distracted in his walk with Christ desires to stay with the believing mate, then the active Christ follower needs to stand for the marriage. The reason is very simple: the unbelieving spouse as well as the children are set apart unto God (1 Cor 7:12-14). "That did not mean that each member of the family automatically has a personal relationship or salvation experience with Jesus Christ....But it did mean that a holy influence was brought to bear on the members of the family, and they enjoyed some of the blessings of a Christian presence" (Ralph Harris (ed.), The New Testament Study Bible: Romans - Corinthians, p. 355).

Regardless of why an unequally married couple are not both believers is not the time for the believing partner to give up. Rather, it is believing God to lead the lost mate into genuine repentance and faith in Christ. When that happens God is free to work. I know, for instance, of one wife who stood over thirty years waiting for her husband to come to Jesus. When he did, God got a hold of his heart and transformed their relationship.

The choice is yours!