When you speak of reconciliation there may be a tendency for some folks to have a puzzled look and utter a reasonable retort: what are you talking about? Reconciliation is the act of bridging a gap in a relationship that was formerly adversarial. Reconcile is the Greek word katallasso and literally is what "describes the actions taken to end the struggle and anger between enemies, i.e. 'to reconcile'" (Thoralf Gilbrandt, The Complete Biblical Library: Greek - English Dictionary: Zeta - Kappa, p. 271).
Formerly, those who are Christ followers, were in a state where they were alienated from God. The Bible says, "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). In other words, there was a point where because of our own sin nature and the sins we had committed on our own, we were at odds with the Lord, enemies as it were. But at our lowest point, out of what is termed grace, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ to reach out and provide a way to cover every sin we ever committed. Grace, then, is the incredible act of undeserved kindness Jesus showed us by dying on the cross. Therefore, when we acknowledge what Christ has done, He, then reconciles us to Him. In other words, God transform as our status from enemies of God's to friends since that was the status Adam and Eve had prior to their fall into sin (See Genesis 3;15).
The term "reconcile" is a technical term that Paul uses in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 which says: "to the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." (NIV) In this passage it is dealing with a married couple who both are Christ followers. Divorce and remarriage is not an option for those who are both walking with the Lord. Here's why.
Just as prior to knowing Christ there is reconciliation for those who were once enemies of Christ, in the same way when a couple's relationship is allowed to be transformed by the Holy Spirit and truly be reconciled to each we are practicing grace in action. God's kindness where it is least deserved. Moving from alienation to the genuine intimate friendship that God intends for marriage is truly the reason why persevering towards reconciliation is so vital for every estranged married couple who names the name as a Christ follower.
Sometimes there are people who sincerely love Jesus who have gone through a divorce. For some, they had no choice in the matter as their former mate was determined to end the marriage without any intervention. Period. For others divorce was seen as "the answer" to perhaps a troubled relationship. Sadly, I wonder if the people who are now divorced sought reconciliation. Some perhaps did. Many I fear did not.
The thing that must be dealt with: God hates divorce Malachi 2:16). While he sacrificially loves His people, divorce tears apart those who have been uniquely bonded together. The couple are not the only ones who are left wounded. Divorce wounds the children and deeply effects extended family members and friends. While it is true that some situations call for a mate to stop sinful behavior before a genuine reconciling (i.e. infidelity), transformation can take place. The hope for every Christ following mate should be praying for the repentant life of a wandering mate and actively seeking the renewed reconciliation that only can be administered by the Holy Spirit with a partnership of openness to change and intimacy.
Final Note: If we believe God can heal our physical bodies, why do we sometimes have difficulty believing that God is incapable of turning married couple around whose lives are heading for disaster?
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