Continuing the overview of Dr Gary Chapman's The Five Love languages, there are two additional love languages. By identifying the two remaining entities will provide us with a complete understanding of the author's approach of filling your spouse's love tank. We should keep in mind that the information that is being shared is directed for married couples only.
Acts of service - This is defined by Chapman as "doing things you know your spouse would like you to do". The act itself, is not of primary importance, serving your mate is. The giver understands his spouse feels love by performing such mundane tasks as washing the car, changing the baby, cleaning the bathroom to name a few acts of service that a person would find value when it is accomplished.
A word of caution is needed. Just because a person does acts of service does not necessarily constitute filling a love language. The reason? Love language, particularly, acts of service must not be performed out of fear, guilt or resentment. Such motivation will not fill one's love tank, perhaps it may even cause irritation. Further, Chapman bring out that one who identifies this love language will be less likely to fall into preconceived stereotypes that are defined by gender, not by individual needs. Thus, a spouse who is able to serve his or her mate with acts of service is probably more free to cross traditional roles that are defined by gender. (Some men are great cooks, and some women enjoy fixing things around the house.)
Physical touch - The final love language to be considered is physical touch. This arena encompasses everything from holding hands, hugs, a simple pat, as well as sexual intercourse. Again it should be pointed out that complete expression of this love language is limited to marriage. The mere act of implementing physical touch does not necessarily mean that is an expression of love. Chapman points out, "Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love".
With the discussion of the love languages the next part is then identifying the primary love language. Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service physical touch are the love languages. Identifying the love language of one's spouse may be deduced from two key questions: what causes your spouse to feel most loved? What do you more often than not request from your mate? A couple who can honestly answer these questions and commit to satisfying the needs of their spouse, life partner and best friend will have made a huge leap to having a fulfilled life. The bottom line, then, why the love language of your mate is so important for couples to master is quite simple. Galatians 5:13 declares "through love serve one another" (NASV). Mutual serving is what makes a good marriage possible.
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